So, you might have noticed that I haven't blogged in almost a year. That being said, this post has been culling in my mind- creating itself, working itself through, and fleshing itself out. Honestly, I had thought I was done. Thrown in the towel, abandoned ship. See the things is, I stopped blogging because I wasn't enjoying it anymore. Writing the posts, photographing projects for it, finding all the links, all the parts had become arduous and I was beginning to resent it. I sat down a few times and tried to squeeze something (anything!) out, but it just wasn't flowing. A week went by, a month went by, six months went by. At first I felt a twinge of guilt. I felt I owed the few readers I might have had a proper explanation or "good-bye", but pretty soon I realized that I felt much better without the pressure of blogging in my life. Now and then I may have had an idea for a post or two, but it wasn't enough to get me back on the blog. Eventually, I accepted it- the blog days are over. Surprisingly, I was actually quite fine with it.
Here's why: I realized during my months off that I was feeling a pressure when working on my blog. A pressure to perform, if you will. I was also operating, the entire time, under the belief that I had nothing to contribute. I loved reading blogs, but I didn't love writing my own. So, where was the disparity? Well, I thought about it for a little while and I realized something. My favorite blogs really get my gears turning and they each offer something unique. Whether it be writing style, content, photography style, personal flair, or what have you. I realized then that I wasn't enjoying writing my blog because I wasn't offering anything unique. I didn't feel I was putting anything into the blogosphere that didn't already exist in some form. This is odd because, quite frankly, I am rather unique. If you think I'm tooting my own horn, ask someone who knows me about Kiki, or my dolls, or any of my personal philosophies. You'd have to ask someone else, you see, because I never talked about any of these things. What was happening was that I was trying a little too hard to be polished, to be a brand. I was thinking to myself, though maybe not entirely on a conscious level, "My blog is called Live.Love.Yarn. so I blog about yarn stuff." Knitting- cool. Crochet- cool. But everything else in this complex life? School? Love? Did you know I took a sewing class or that I love to read? Work? Other hobbies? I prevented myself from blogging about these things because, I thought, "Readers are coming here for yarn".
But I am a lot more than yarn. I do love yarn, I love everything about it. But what about the "Live" and "Love"? By trying to brand myself I severely compromised the image of who I am. I manipulated my blog and image so it was cut and dry "yarn". By trying to brand myself I revoked my own freedom to be my unique self, and all the passion and excitement I had for sharing my uniqueness. I became jaded by the attempt to be too polished, lost my interest, and kind of gave up.
Now, crafty business owners and business supporters don't get me wrong here. Brands are great. Fun even. But I'm not a crafty business women (yet?) and I, personally, did not go about creating an image in the correct manner with the right the intentions.
But here is the good news: I'm back. Thanks to a series of events that have been taking place over the past few weeks, I am back. I am invigorated and empowered and ready to try again. I have to give a big shout out to Sister Diane, creator of CraftyPod. The pieces of these ideas were all kind of ricocheting around in my mind trying to take hold of each other to form something, but it wasn't happening. When I listened to CraftyPod #123: Being More Authentic Online, with Kirsty Hall it all kind of clicked into place and I realized what had been bothering me. about blogging, all this long while and why. Anything she publishes is great and saturated with inspiration and ideas to really get you thinking, but this particular podcast really resonated with me.
I can promise it isn't going to be perfect, it never has been. If your subscribed to this blog still and you're thinking, "We've heard it all before", I can't blame you. I kind of feel the same. I'm thinking "Maybe it'll stick this time, but maybe it won't". But what is important is this: if I get to write about what I want to and really be myself I'll be much better off than before. I think I really owe it to myself and you to give it another shot.
It's going to be very different this time around, but I am really excited by that prospect. So thanks for tuning in again, if you are. If this is your first time here, welcome. I hope we can all enjoy the ride.
Until Next Time.
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